Episode 7: What a way to open a new week!

Not sure how your week started, but this may have been mine...

The Ghost: He tells me I'm gorgeous, stunning, and adorable. Finally, a man with impeccable taste! He lives in St. Augustine and tells me he's eager to date me and wants to meet. By the time I see the message, Mr. Ghost has disabled his account. This can only mean there was a massive earthquake that only took out St. Augustine. Surely someone so eager to bask in the glory of my company wouldn't message me and then disappear. Goodbye, my love. We shall meet in the afterlife.

Mr. Gator: His message starts fairly innocuous asking how I am. And then he needs to know if I prefer a certain male appendage to be circumcised or uncircumcised.

Thank you for your interest, Mr. Gator. I prefer said appendage to be attached to a gentleman, which you are not. Although I am curious - if a woman prefers the latter and you are the former, how exactly would you handle that? Is there some prosthesis I don't know about? Inquiring minds want to know.

Then I found myself chatting with Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.

Bill: Hi, how are you?

Me: Good, you?

Bill: I'm good.

Bill: Hi, how at are you?

Me: Still good, you?

Bill: I'm good.

And last but not least, there was Bryan.

B: After reading your profile I need to ask you 2 important questions.

Me: So...what are the questions?

B: 1. Are you still single? 2. Do you want kids?

Me: 1. Yes. It would be bad to still have a profile up if I wasn't single, don't you think? 2. Yes

B: That sounds really sexy, I love your answers. I would love for us to be friends so I can invite you on a Daytona Beach get away?

Well now. I've been told I'm sexy before but never from answering such innocuous questions. Maybe I used a really sensuous font by mistake. Thanks for the kinda halfway invite for a "get away" but I have no interest in working on question number 2 with you.

That's all for now folks! I hope no one got worked up by this post. I used the least sexy font I could find.