Episode 22: The Poet Laureate

I, along with presumably hundreds of other women, received a message from a man I can only describe as the self appointed online dating poet laureate.  Mr. Poet composes a novel and then utilizing his computer skills, he tries to ctrl+c/ctrl+v his way into some lucky lady's heart.  Behold, I give you Mr. Poet's piece de resistance in all its verbatim glory:

Episode 21: Um, what???

So I received a message from a guy that said: "Haven't called u playin games"

Um, what??? No clue who this guy is, no clue what his name is.  He isn't my type and I sure as hell wouldn't have said I'd call him. So I'm left to wonder (1) who is he confusing me with? or (2) is this some jacked up pick up line I was supposed to fall for?  I didn't answer, so it will remain a mystery.

And then there was this one:
"Hi (smiley emoticon) I like your profile and your Big Brain (laughing crying emoticon) are you christian? Are you familiar to Catch the fire and house of prayer churches there in toronto? I am going there this summer (blushing emoticon) Anyways I like you and your profile (winky emoticon) God Bless you (heart) seeya!"

Episode 20: Liars Need Not Apply

What the hell is up with men lying about their age???  And it's not like a year or two, we're talking decades.

First there was Mr. Counselor.  He worked for a local social services agency and seemed educated and interesting.  We had some decent conversations and met for coffee.

Mr. C:  Well, I know I said I'm 34, but I'm not.
Me:  Really?  I had no clue you weren't 34.  The face that looks at least a decade older than that didn't give me the slightest clue.