Episode 21: Um, what???

So I received a message from a guy that said: "Haven't called u playin games"

Um, what??? No clue who this guy is, no clue what his name is.  He isn't my type and I sure as hell wouldn't have said I'd call him. So I'm left to wonder (1) who is he confusing me with? or (2) is this some jacked up pick up line I was supposed to fall for?  I didn't answer, so it will remain a mystery.

And then there was this one:
"Hi (smiley emoticon) I like your profile and your Big Brain (laughing crying emoticon) are you christian? Are you familiar to Catch the fire and house of prayer churches there in toronto? I am going there this summer (blushing emoticon) Anyways I like you and your profile (winky emoticon) God Bless you (heart) seeya!"



Um, what??? First, that was emoticon overload.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy using emoticons sometimes.  If they annoy someone, I will use them even more for shits and giggles.  And remind me to tell you about the conversation I had using entirely gifs.  I get it, it can be fun, but dude.  Dude! I did Google the church.  Doesn't look like my style.  I attend a more formal and quiet church.  There is chanting and icons and quiet reflection and prayer.  Your full band and laser light show is hella cool but just not for me, thanks.

And then there was this one:
"Hi Just wanted to tell you a little more about me since my profiles is a little on the empty side. As the username suggests my name is John. I want to be open about what I am looking for. Everyone's goal (ok most everyone) is to find that partner to spend the rest of their life together and that is my ultimate goal too but getting married again is not something I will do. My pursuit is not necessarily finding that lady that I cannot live without but the pursuit of meeting lady's that I enjoy spending time with which currently makes me a serial dater. At my age life is to short and I want to live it to the fullest and enjoy every minute I have on this earth. Hopefully this is something you would like in your life too."

Um, what??? Hopefully I'll want it too.  Want what?  To be the next notch on your bedpost?  To be the girl you see for a few weeks and dump?  To know you appear to never want to be in love?  WTF, dude.  Thanks for opening like that because I'd never respond to you.

I mean seriously, have people never had a normal relationship?  Having been in a normal, healthy, loving relationship is why I continue to wade through the dating cesspool hoping I can find that feeling again.  Because it was pretty fucking awesome.