What the hell is up with men lying about their age??? And it's not like a year or two, we're talking decades.
First there was Mr. Counselor. He worked for a local social services agency and seemed educated and interesting. We had some decent conversations and met for coffee.
Mr. C: Well, I know I said I'm 34, but I'm not.
Me: Really? I had no clue you weren't 34. The face that looks at least a decade older than that didn't give me the slightest clue.
Mr. C: I'm actually 44.
Me: ::Faints from shock:: And why are you lying?
Mr. C: I have nothing in common with women my own age. They're not interesting and I want to date younger so I lie because a woman in her 30s might not want to date me.
Me: Yep, you're right. A woman might judge you for your age. I have no issue with you being 44. But now I know you're a damn liar and I don't like liars.
Mr. C was crestfallen when I told him I'm just not that into him. He said "Wow, you're really direct." So either that's code for "Holy crap you actually had the guts to say that to my face." or "You're a bitch." I'm not sure which it was.
And then there was Karaoke Man. Karaoke man messaged me in January and I told him I'm not interested. Why, you ask? Because he's in his 50s and closer in age to my mother than me. Thanks, not looking to date my daddy. Here's a timeline of events:
January:
KM: I think you are beautiful and I'd love to chat and get to know you. Check me out and let me know if interested.
Me: Thanks, but the age difference is too much for me.
KM: Even if I don't look or act my age? No kids? Nonsmoker? drug and disease free?
(Mkay buddy, you asked if I was interested and I said no. And I hate to break it to you, but you do look your age. So I decide to go full crazy chick and throw out the marriage card to send him running for the hills.)
Me: Besides that, I want marriage and kids. You're in an open relationship and seem to be looking for "fun" and not a serious relationship. (AKA I will not sleep with you. Leave me alone.)
KM: Well, the only reason it is an open relationship is because we are separated but for financial reasons still live together. I didn't know how to classify that. lol I'm not opposed to marriage if we get along grandly.
(You don't know how to classify that??? Let me help: You're MARRIED and don't want to pay alimony.)
Me: I don't date married men. Good luck in your search.
June:
KM: Hello, I liked your pictures but saw in your name 1/7/80. It's that your birthday? Mine is January 7. Just thought I'd check.
Me: Nope, that's not my birthday. (It's also not 1/7/80 in my name but whatever.)
KM: You look like a lot of fun, you are really beautiful and I'd enjoy getting to know you. I'm a SWM, non-smoker, drug free, easy going and a fun guy. I'd love to hear back from you.
Me: We chatted in January and I said I wasn't interested. I also find it interesting your age has changed. Guess you found a time machine.
KM hasn't messaged me since. Guess he didn't love what I had to say. In 6 months he got divorced and lost about 16 years in age. I'd seriously love to know about this time machine. I have a few things I'd enjoy going back and changing.
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