Episode 11: I don’t like you, you don’t like me, let’s live our lives separately…

You totally sang that title, didn’t you?  The song is stuck in your head, isn’t it?  You’re welcome.

Mr. Gamer: He seemed like a decent guy, so we went on a date. Which ended up being more like an interview. Do you want me to send you an application to date me? I can do that. Also, if part of your ethnicity includes being Arabic, you should probably learn how to spell it. Here, I'll help. It's Lebanese, not Lebonase.

Mr. Gamer and I chatted a couple more times and then ghosted on each other.  Until six months later, I get a message from Mr. Gamer on the dating app.  And when I didn’t respond fast enough, he sent me a text message.  Seriously, guys, when you have zero contact for months with someone you only met once, it might be time to delete their number.  He texted and then called me and we chatted for a few.  Yeah, I’m not interested, you’re not interested.  I’m assuming you were lonely and just needed to chat.  Good luck, but you can pretty much guarantee I’m not going to contact you again.   Oh, and the developer that didn’t put in an automatic deletion for old messages on that dating app?  Yeah, thanks for that.  Because I had to look back at old messages to remember his name.  

Mr. Cupid: Um, when I'm kind enough to respond and let you know I'm not interested, you should probably accept that and not ask why. If you want to know the laundry list, here ya go:

- I'm a little wary of people whose interested age range is a 50 year span.  50 years???  That would be like me saying I’m interested in men from 20-70.  That’s a range of me being their teenage mom all the way to dating my grandfather.  Come. On. People.  If you’re casting that wide of a net, do you just really like fish or you’re just hoping some type of seafood if caught?

 

- What does "other" religion mean? Pick one or none. It's not that hard.

- Fragments. Are annoying. Hooked on phonics. May work for you.  I know, I know, it’s not your dissertation.  But if your profile essay is rife with errors and it makes my eyes bleed trying to figure out what the hell you were saying, I’m out.  

- And last but not least, talking about sex and your kinks in a profile is a deal breaker.  I bet you’re the type to send dick pics.  And you probably have an Ashley Madison account. Ick.