Creepy Old Man. His message was "Nice boobs, young lady." EEEEWWWWWWW.
Boy Toy. He was 24, had a good job, we had similar interests, and he was very attentive. We went on 2 dates, he bought me a bottle of Moscato. Problem? I wasn't attracted to him. Nada, zero, zilch on the chemistry meter. Plus there was that whole age difference thing. I don't usually date younger than myself - for good reason. It was kinda like chatting with a brick wall. But alas, Boy Toy found someone his own age and while I thought I was ghosting on him, he was ghosting on me. Looks like we have our mutual dislike in common.
The Ex. Yep, one of my ex-boyfriends found me and started messaging me on the dating site. Mind you, he has my email address, phone number, and knows where I live. Numerous messages later, he says he wants me back and described the hideous engagement ring he almost bought me in some misguided attempt to impress me. Many "No"'s later, he got the point. One month later he asked for advice on a pre-nup. Then months later he emails me...at 2am out of the blue. That was him opening up the lines of communication just so he could tell me he was married. To a woman who has the same first and middle name I do. If that's not creepy, I'm not sure what is! I hope they living happily every after...or she at least finds out soon that he tends to have a wandering eye.
Crazy Christian. Apparently something about my profile says message me if you're an uptight, right wing Christian conservative who hates liberals. I politely informed him about some of the differences in our beliefs. He told me I wasn't Christian. I told him he was a judgmental prick and he never messaged me back. Too bad. It would have been a serious love connection.
Mr. Doesn't Get the Hint. Contact 1 - Message on site A. I didn't answer. Contact 2- August. I told him we're not a match and good luck. Contact 3 - September. New name, same pic. Tells me I'm sexy. I ignore him. Contact 4 - December. Same pic, same message, same bullshit. He thinks gay marriage is wrong, that gays shouldn't have children, ideology that is opposite mine, etc. I know we will not work. I've told him so. I've ignored him. He won't give up. How many times do I have to say no?!
Mistaken Identity. Him: Kristen? Me: Nope. But seriously, Kristen? Are you out there? Are you my doppelganger? Message me!
Mr. Engineer. He's an oldie that has returned. We had a few weeks of really good conversations because he was working out of town so we never had a chance to meet. I was interested, but a special someone made a move and I fell hopelessly in love so Mr. Engineer was sent on his way. Mr. Engineer came out of the woodwork a couple years later. This feels vaguely like a booty call except we've never met! Thanks, Mr. Engineer, but I'll pass. I like my boyfriends to actually live in my city. And, ya know, make an effort to meet.
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