Ermagherd. Now listen, I don't profess to be a genius, but I am smarter than the average bear. And I need to date someone who has some brains otherwise they won't get my smartass jokes and I'll be laughing and they'll be sitting there all awkward with a blank stare on their face.
Cue my latest conversation with a man who claims he is "very respectful and honest gentleman." Now what kind of username would you expect from this guy? Would it be AnimalLove69? Certainly AnimalLove69 is the type of name I immediately associate with respect, honesty, and other gentlemanly qualities.
Let's be nosy and take a peek into the conversation, shall we?
Mr. AL69: What is your zodiac sign I'm a Scorpio
Me: Aquarius. So you like astrology?
Mr. AL69: is that a game
Me: Explanation of astrology and explaining that's where the zodiac signs came from.
Mr. AL69: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
Mr. AL69: What is your favorite color?
Dude. DUDE. First, this random questions thing is akin to a damn slam book from middle school. Thanks for asking, Mr. AL69. My favorite color is Purple, my favorite flower is tulips, I rocked out to the Backstreet Boys and had a secret crush on Kevin in school.
But even more disturbing, how the hell to you read your horoscope and delve into astrological signs and NOT KNOW WHAT THE HELL ASTROLOGY IS??? That's like saying you love football and when I comment on a team's 2 point conversion you say you never did well in Algebra. Come the hell on. If you really have no clue, then do what the rest of us do and Google the word so you don't sound like an idiot!
P.S. How many bonus points do I get for a football analogy??? I totally deserve bonus points. And if you know me in real life, you know just how amazing this analogy is because you just said to yourself "She actually knows what a 2 point conversion is??? She totally Googled that mess."
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